© 2018 by Before I Turn

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"The Virus" - 2016

"The Virus" is Before I Turn's debut album release, on May 9th 2016. The album is comprised of 9 songs. These are the lyrics and the stories behind the songs . . .

"The Virus"

"The Virus" is about a group of people in the local scene that we are from who we found to be cancerous. The drama infested in the relationships that they formed were toxic, and it is a song paying homage to the face that they were a "virus" in New England.

I don't believe you, 'cause everything's a lie
It lingers on you, I see it in your eyes
You are a poison, there's nothing left to say

But let it be a warning that you will soon decay

Delusional and designed to fail
All your beliefs leave your mind so frail
Head so high you can see the clouds
When you learn your purpose you will fall to the ground

You're no messiah you are far too weak, your future home lies beneath your feet
Constant agony, inducing misery, and suffering on the ones you love

Conduct your militia that's within your head, for there's a thousand armies that want you dead
Shaking on the ground, and the last thing you see
All your fans lost for laughing in the face of me

Delusional and designed to break
Your mind will quiver and the ground will shake
Head swings low like the chariot, that brings you to nowhere but a city of dross and shit

You wouldn't know what it's like to stay true
So step down off your pedestal for there's no God in you
God in you

Choking on your own words you start to suffocate
Living off your last breath its already too late
Choking on your own words you start to suffocate
Living off your last breath it's already too late

"Genesis"

"Genesis" is about the story of Job in the bible. We in no way have any ill feelings towards those with religious beliefs but what drew me (Alex) to this story was the fact that God is supposed to be loving and preaches not to do deals with the devil, however in the Story of Job, God contradicts himself by making a deal with the devil that he can take away all of the things that Job cares about in life, and he (Job) will still remain faithful. He plagued him, killed his wife, his children, and took away everything he loved. This song is about the hypocrisy in that story.

I watch the world, it crumbles at the feet of illusion
It withers slowly in the hands of a con
Voices can be heard of the cities in peril

Wake the fuck up or all you know will be gone

They march in silence and shame
Violence under his name
Hiding in the comfort of darkness
Masquerade solace with eminent pain

Plaguing my love, burning my life, stealing my children, claiming my wife
Plaguing my love, burning my life, stealing my children, claiming my wife
Plaguing my love, burning my life, stealing my children, claiming my wife
Plaguing my love, burning my life, stealing my children, claiming my wife

Not the brightest diamond can fulfill my anguish
And no family will bid me farewell
If this is living I don't want to be reborn
I'd rather end my life and see you all in hell

Embrace the man who takes my family; embrace the man who takes my faith
Embrace the evil that lingers in front of me; embrace the darkness that beckons all my hate

I watch the world, it crumbles at my feet
It withers slowly in the hands of a con
Voices can be heard of the cities in peril
Wake the fuck up or all you know will be gone

"Prophets"

"Prophets" is about Islamic extremists in the middle-east and all over the world. It serves as a call-out to the sexist, anti-democratic, cowards we know as ISIS. May they all forever live in fear.

Body after body, engulfed into the flames

For he who lives in darkness has a prophet to proclaim

With blades of steel in iron, he sharpens every one

And drives them through the body of the infidel's son

 

This isn't peace you haven't thought this through

You let a liar and a fraud walk all over you

You speak of virgins in your afterlives, while you polygamist fucks beat your defenseless wives

 

I have seen a world that's rid of fear

And I have seen a world that's better without you here

 

Body after body, engulfed into the flames

For he who lives in darkness has a prophet to proclaim

With blades of steel in iron, he sharpens every one

And drives them through the body of the infidel's son

 

Burn them, from their head to their feet

Burn them, from their head to their feet

"Lust"

"Lust" is a song about one of the many stories I (Alex) created, centering around a mentally unstable man who loses his mind when his girlfriend rejects his marriage proposal. He imagines how perhaps she will love him when he is dead. He finally gives her an ultimatum saying if she does not marry him then he will kill himself. 

I long for the feeling of a gun, resting against my head
I long for a candle light vigil, for staining all the walls my favorite shade of red

The worst part of being dead is not knowing what she'll do
Standing proud above my casket like it's not because of you
So I'll make it fucking clear, that you ruined my life
Cause I thought I had plans to make you my wife
Now it's over, it's over, like you said the pain will be when we're older

So I can use this gun to make you stay, or put it to my head and take my fucking life away

So I can use this gun to make you stay, please help me baby I can't take your life away

I'm fucking bitter like the led that's in a bullet
So all there's left to do is feel the trigger and fucking pull it

So I can use this gun to make you stay, this gun is just like you cause it can take my breath way

Now that it's over, I'm trapped with my thoughts
I ask for an objection but I get no response
Now I'm alone but at least I tried
Get ready God cause I'm ready to die

I long for the feeling of a gun, resting against my head
I long for a candle light vigil, for staining all the walls my favorite shade of red
I'm fucking bitter like the led that's in a bullet
So all that's left to do is feel the trigger and fucking pull it

I'll fucking pull it

"Stella"

"Stella" is about an ex-girlfriend who committed suicide. She was a fan of the band's for years. For a while I (Alex) tried to put myself in her shoes to figure out why she did what she did, however I found it very hard to comprehend. I wrote this song as a way of trying to explain to myself why it happened, and to convey the intensity of such a harsh decision such as the one she made. I wanted to haunt people with the darkness of the lyrics to try to convey the horrid experience the loved ones around someone who is contemplating suicide would potentially face. I hope to deter people from this permanent decision to a temporary problem.

Hanging by the neck
Suspended by the throat
The world I picture's better

But I'm choking on the rope
There's nothing you can say
To save me from despair
So don't come in till morning
And let me kick this chair

Fuck!

Nobody knows me
They'll just know that I'm dead
They'll know the sick thoughts that plagued my head
I'll write it in a letter
But no one else will see
But my mother and my father while they're begging on their knees

Please god, not my daughter!
She was just fifteen
Not your child to slaughter
Mother of god, open your eyes!
Don't leave me darling
Come back to the light!

Love me, somebody!
Love me, somebody!
Please, fuck!

Nobody knows me
They'll just know that I'm dead
They'll know the sick thoughts that fucked with my head

Love me, somebody!
Love me, somebody!
Please, fuck!

Hanging by the neck
Suspended by the throat
The world I picture's better, but I'm choking on the rope
There's nothing you can say
To save me from despair
So don't come in till morning and let me kick this chair

Please god, not my daughter!
She was just fifteen
Not your child to slaughter
Mother of god, open your eyes!
Don't leave me darling
Come back to the light!

"Meridia"

"Meridia" is about one of the most intriguing stories of my (Alex) favorite video game, Skyrim. It is about taking a follower to Meridia's Beacon to sacrifice them to gain the daedric knowledge that Meridia promises. It ends up taking you to the location of the legendary Ebony Mail Armour.

I see blood in my eyes, nothing but vengeance and solemn goodbyes
I hear under your breath, nothing but steel as it rips through your flesh

Behold my sacrifice, one through the heart, one through the head
Fast deaths and silent cries, soaking the snow in a dark shade of red
Behold my fearless friend, watch as her life comes to an end
I found tranquility, inside the darkness of promises that you made

I see blood in my eyes, nothing but vengeance and solemn goodbyes
I hear under your breath, nothing but steel as it rips through your flesh
I see the blood in my eyes, nothing but hatred and whimpering cries
I hear the sound of your life, draining away as you finally die

Nothing but hatred and whimpering cries
Draining away as you finally die

(Help me) I'm drowning in anguish
(Save me) I'm inflicting pain
(Take me) Away from this solace
(Kill me) Before it's too late
(Help me) I'm drowning in anguish
(Save me) I'm inflicting pain
(Take me) Away from this solace
(Kill me) Before it's too late

I've found tranquility inside the darkness of promises that you've made

I see blood on my knife, nothing but vengeance and solemn goodbyes
I hear under your breath, nothing but steel as it rips through your flesh

(Help me) I'm drowning in anguish
(Save me) I'm inflicting pain
(Take me) Away from this solace
(Kill me) Before it's too late
(Help me) I'm drowning in anguish
(Save me) I'm inflicting pain
(Take me) Away from this solace
(Kill me) Before it's too late

"Leeches"

"Leeches" is about my (Alex) favorite book, The Wide Window by Lemony Snicket. The song describes Captain Sham (Count Olaf) as he deceives the Baudelaire's guardian at the time, Aunt Josephine. Eventually he pushes her into Lake Lachrymose which is infested with carnivorous leeches. This song is a remake of the song off our EP "Imposter" called "Leeches in the Grotto". 
FUN FACT: This song was specifically written for an Adam Warren feature. When we re-made the song, Adam was interested, and we got him to feature on the album.

A masquerade for my apperception
A binding vigor for my lust
I've learned from the life I took, there's a few sights sadder than a ruined book

Everything around you slowly burns

You lead a life, no purpose and no family
The time will come, when vileness is all you see

Where is my sanity? Shrouded by anxiety?
Everything around me is a blur, since I saw you with her
With her alluring stare, something I could never bare
Soon I will be laughing when you know, I am the one

The leeches will show no mercy, draining blood form every orifice, every vein
They will drag you down into the depths

Fear me now for I am him
Cut me deep to watch me bleed external secretions
A deeper wound a darker red than crimson
You've always found a way to get inside of me
Cut me open to see my true intentions
Wretched whore put the widow on the phone
And see tonight, I'll be inside your fucking home

"At Your Grave"

"At Your Grave" is similar to Stella in that is about the same person. There is some influence drawn from the penultimate scene of The Amazing Spider-Man 2 when Peter is constantly at Gwen Stacey's grave. The song was written at her grave.

Every day I try to explain to myself
Why I'm still here
It's hard when I'm living alone
And living life has been my biggest fear

What I'd give to see you again
What I'd give to see you breathe
'cause life was easier
When you were lying next to me

Standing alone I'm right beside your grave
I can feel you here with me
I think I've lost all my self control
'cause I only want to see you

I want to be with you
Another chance with you
I want to die with you

Every night I try to believe in myself
And why I need to
Move on from the ghost of my love
'cause now you're gone and I have nothing here

What I'd give to see you again
What I'd give to see you breathe
'cause life is just so hard
Now that you're lying underneath

I want to know what it's like to die
So I can be with you for one last time

I can't breathe
Your silence dwelling deep inside my lungs
I can't see
I want you to wake up so I can see you

I've tried to live
Tried to move on from you
I shut my eyes
But all I see is you

Please let me live
Another day with you
I want to live
But I can't live without you

I've tried to live
Tried to move on from you
I shut my eyes
But all I see is you

Please let me live
Another day with you
I want to live
But I can't live without you

"Eternity"

"Eternity" is about my (Alex) girlfriend. She means the world to me, so how could I not write a song about her? She gives me clarity, warmth, and life.

Even though you were far away
I knew I'd end up with you someday
and even in my darkest days
you'd tell me everything will be okay
'cause I've always promised you
by the time that we are through
the world will be at it's end
and if I start to lie
I will confess that I am just terrified of losing you

I've never seen such beauty
I've never felt so lonely
I thought I'd never find a word
Just be the one who saves me
I'll make sure you're always happy
I think that this could be the one

Your eyes make me feel like I'm drowning
that I'm far, far away from the boat
I feel like I have know you my entire life
and I trust that you'll keep me afloat
'cause I see you dressed in white in my future
as I'm lost deep inside your eyes
I just want you by my side every day and night
I want to give you my whole life

I've never seen such beauty
I've never felt so lonely
I thought I'd never find the one
Just be the one who saves me
I'll make sure you're always happy
I think that this could be the one

I have a pulse
I'm finally living
I have a mind
I'm finally sane
I have a heart
I can finally love something
I have a life
I'm finally safe

I have a pulse
I'm finally living
I have a mind
I'm finally sane
I have a heart
I can finally love something
I have a life
I'm finally safe

I've never seen such beauty
I swear you won't be lonely
I thought I'd never find the one
You are the one who saved me
I'll make sure you're always happy
I always knew you'd be the one